Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
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