he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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