Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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