I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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