he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize