love makes seman taste better
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
