Non-Jews are for practice
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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