If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
you're hired as official boob wrangler
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize