Please don't use social media to get back at me.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize