I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize