i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
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Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
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If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
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