remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
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A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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