Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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