i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
where are my eyebrows?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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