What a fucking waste of an outfit
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
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I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
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I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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