dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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