I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i just google imaged poop.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
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just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
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But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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