im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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