I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize