Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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