he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
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the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
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I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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