Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
not ubering you a puppy
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize