I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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