Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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