dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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