How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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