We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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