I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
My breath smells like gin and sadness
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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