Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize