he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize