he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
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