so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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