wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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