i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
