Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I have aggressive nipples.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize