hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
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