White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize