Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
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still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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