i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize