I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
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