my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
The struggles of a small town man whore
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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