do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
So vagazzling was a success
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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