Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Randomize