I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize