FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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