I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize