i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize