glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Randomize