It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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