I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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