I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
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